Financial Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Did you say 'buy-buy' or 'bye-bye'?'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'The patient's doing well but the budget's hemorrhaging badly.'

'Yes, we offer no-fee checking accounts. For a small fee.'

"That $20 deduction is for new benefits ? like the $10 raise you just got."

'Any collateral other than this letter from a Nigerian banker's widow?'

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"Pour yourself a drink - the news isn't too good"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'Your hedge fund manager is here, sir.'

Beggar won't accept stock options.

'I can't be overdrawn, silly -- I have free checking!'

'Formerly, the office of the CFO.'

'But on the bright side, house prices are going down.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

'Stocks finished higher today, paced by rising drug and fuel costs, divorces,malpractice suits,bankruptcy fees and medical bills.'

Next bank please.

Banks To Stop Behaving Irresponsibly - 'But that's the only reason I became a banker.'

'The masked man He's the loan arranger,'

Stocks Bonds / Life Insurance.

"No." "Nooooo". "Noooooooooo."

My 35 years of experience tell me your tolerance for risk is low...

'Is it out of order or out of money?'

'It's just as the sign says, you've got the loan for 24 hours.'

'Satisfied now??'

'How am I doin'? On a GAAP, or a non-GAAP basis?'

Council of Economic Advisers.

"How could you forget to bring your receipts?"

"Your 401(k) rolled over nicely, sat up briefly, then expired."

Marriage tax.

A New Doom and Gloom Will Open Here.

'His spine is okay. It's his overdraft rate that gets him down.'

I'm not guilty of insider trading. I've been out here all afternoon!