Financial Humor Lover Pillows

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

Open a new account and receive a foreclosed house.

Piggy Banks/Cash Cows/Free Chicken Account.

I'd Rather Have The Short Tax Form.

'But if money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?'

'The dollar held its value today against the yen, the euro, the peso, the comic book and the baseball card.'

'Don't worry, I always land on my feet.'

"I feel a recession coming."

Bad end-of-year figures

'Can he call you back? He's viewing his favourite internet site.'

'I'm glad you came in. You're behind on your getaway car payments.'

The accountant's visit

'The energy company are replacing our old letterbox for a more efficient one.'

'Of course you lost money. The pharmaceuticals you invested in are all placebos.'

Modern Art - 'Bull' graph going up / 'Bear' graph going down

'The S.E.C warns that irrational exuberance, if left untreated can lead to bi polar mood changes.'

'Your account was inactive for over 30 days, sir, so we bought donuts with it.'

'According to Government budget figures, 'Tax Freedom Day' this year will take place on February 11th of next year.'

'Maybe you should take in a partner. That's the third client to take your sign literally this week.'

'Let me explain it this way: our 'Nouveau Riche' fund has been renamed the 'Nouveau Poor' fund.'

'We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to rub some more money on it and see what happens.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Hey, I'm not asking for a 'handout'. A 'stipend' or 'honorarium' would be just fine.'

'This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, but this little piggy lost a bundle in emerging markets...'

'Psst! Would you like an expert to fudge your income tax returns?'

Delusions of Retirement.

Time and money on a seesaw are equals.

US economy health.

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

Bank window questions the legitimacy of the government backing of deposits.

'On Wall Street today, ther was good news if you're a masochist.'

"Lunch is up 35p today in keeping with the FT index."

Federal Guidelines

Bear market. The demise of the bull market.

'The check is in the email attachment.'