Financial Fraud Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

The Bullish World

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

'How can we be so sure it's a fake, gentlemen - she isn't smiling!'

Man with a Plan

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

'Your in great shape...'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

A measured response to the budget speech.

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

What's a CEO's motivation?

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

Explaining corporate restructuring to shareholders.

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

Profit margins as fine art in a museum.