Finance Fiddler Gifts

"Oops...nothing but IOUs I never paid back!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

"That was a rumor day."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

"Goodbye cruel world."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"Ey, Zoltan! Come in and fiddle around in here tonight."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

Masochism for stockholders.