Finance Fiddler Gifts

"Oops...nothing but IOUs I never paid back!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"That was a rumor day."

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Ey, Zoltan! Come in and fiddle around in here tonight."

Bookkeeping Club

"Goodbye cruel world."

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."