Doctor's Lounge Giggler Gifts

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

Medical Cabinet

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'I'll take #1.'

"It's cooties."

"It's weeder's elbow."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"He's losing his will to pay!"

"Everytime he sticks his finger down his throat, he tells a joke."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"Guess what face I'm making now."

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"I'm going to send you to someone who's not afraid of doing a little harm."

Acupuncture

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

Feet Direction Don't Match

Waiting In Doctor's Office

Wang Ying had a dental appointment at 'toof-hurty'!