Hospital Laughter Lover Gifts

Feet Direction Don't Match

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Providing Healthcare For All

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Big slipper.

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

'Urology...can you hold?'

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'