Hospital Worker Humor Lover Gifts

'You call all this a side-effect?'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Happy Birthday to you.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"Your IQ came back negative."

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

Big slipper.

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

'Urology...can you hold?'

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Disorderlies

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'He's got great bedside manner.'