Hospital Worker With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Disorderlies

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'These are your parking charges.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

Plastic Surgery

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

Covid Cycle

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

'Take 2 of these pills last thing at night. And 2 if you wake up in the morning.'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."

'You call all this a side-effect?'