Hospital Worker With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

Disorderlies

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'These are your parking charges.'

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

Plastic Surgery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

Covid Cycle

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

'You call all this a side-effect?'

'Take 2 of these pills last thing at night. And 2 if you wake up in the morning.'

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."