Healthcare Worker Laughs Pillows

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

Nurse cautioning a patient

Plastic Surgery

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

"And there's a surcharge if you insist on annoying the doctor with any self-diagnosis you found on google."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

Covid Cycle

'You call all this a side-effect?'

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

'Take 2 of these pills last thing at night. And 2 if you wake up in the morning.'

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."