Funny Healthcare Worker Pillows

Plastic Surgery

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Disorderlies

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

Covid Cycle

"Anyone else for a prostate test?"

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

'You call all this a side-effect?'

'Fortunately, the virus is dormant. Just be careful you don't wake it up.'

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."

'You can discuss sexual failure with me Mr Harmsworth, I'm trained not to laugh.'