Healthcare Workers With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

'Take 2 of these pills last thing at night. And 2 if you wake up in the morning.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

"I stand corrected."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

Healthy Eating Casualties

Just Browsing.

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

Transplant delivery

'These are your parking charges.'

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Could you turn up the volume a little?'

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

"Just relax and hold still."

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'

Pope fed by nasal tub.

'Scratch yourself a couple of times and call me in the morning.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'I can't fill this prescription. Your doctor forgot to write, pretty please.'