Hospital Worker In-jokes Gifts

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Disorderlies

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Just Browsing.

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

Plastic Surgery

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'I warned you not to tease the tortoise.'

'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Of course I'm nervous.. you have your attorney with you.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"

Covid Cycle