Hospital Worker In-jokes Pillows

"This is really a hospital with a touch of class. They collect urine samples in champagne glasses."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"Your IQ came back negative."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Disorderlies

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

Plastic Surgery

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'This is nurse Rochester, if there's anything worrying you she's the person to share your concerns with so that they get recorded and filed properly.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'I warned you not to tease the tortoise.'

'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Of course I'm nervous.. you have your attorney with you.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

'You call all this a side-effect?'

"They said it'd take time to expel the air pumped in during the procedure"