Lighthearted Medical Worker Pillows

'Be careful when you inject him, the frowny face means he's a biter.'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

'I'm leaving early cos I didn't come in so late'

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"I'm afraid you've got a serious case of polka dots."

Gall Stones Specialist: 'This too shall Pass!'

...The decimal point was in the wrong place.

'Very funny!'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"If she still feels pain with the regular placebo, we try again withe extra-strength placebo!"

'Are my blood test results in yet?'

"The next patient is complaining of a running nose."

"Mildly invasive. At most we'll be using a comb."