Light-hearted Medic Pillows

'Another serious stroke is a possibility, so if you have any sudden drooling, dizziness, or if you ever laugh out loud at a Garfield cartoon, call 911 immediately.'

'Caring for his patient's welfare, Doctor McWit goes with the two second, not the five second rule.'

"You have mistletoe."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Get crazy once in a while

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'I'm working through some anger issues.'

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"It's cooties."

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'Spin GP'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

I think it's candy for old people. PEZ. MEDZ.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

'Stop her Henry!'

Golf ball escaping.

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'