Light-hearted Medic Pillows

'Another serious stroke is a possibility, so if you have any sudden drooling, dizziness, or if you ever laugh out loud at a Garfield cartoon, call 911 immediately.'

'Caring for his patient's welfare, Doctor McWit goes with the two second, not the five second rule.'

"You have mistletoe."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Get crazy once in a while

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

"It's cooties."

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'I'm working through some anger issues.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

'Spin GP'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

Golf ball escaping.

'Stop her Henry!'

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'

"I spy something red."

'I'm not playing - I don't trust you!'

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,