Lighthearted Healthcare Gifts

'Are my blood test results in yet?'

"I stand corrected."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You need some stress.'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Flu Drugs.

Healthy Eating Casualties

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

Death Waits Behind the Doctor.

Patient can't find help at doctor office window because of awards.

'I'm referring you to a specialist.'

"Are you sure you're here about your throat?"

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

"We've stopped arm wrestling in case we needed an ambulance."

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

'Could you turn up the volume a little?'

'I've never seen a worse case of sillycosis!'