Lighthearted Medic Prints

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

"It's cooties."

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'Spin GP'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.