Medical Mirth Enthusiast Gifts

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'I'm sorry to hear about your women troubles, but I'm a gynecologist. I only help women with women's troubles.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'No, your wife wasn't wearing clean underwear. She wasn't wearing any underwear at all.'

"This will be an easy one. These lawyers don't have any working internal organs."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Happy Birthday to you.

"Garden variety allergies."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Long shift?'

'Time for your pills.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"Gross."