Laugh Surgeon Gifts

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Current location

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Medical Cabinet

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'It's a routine operation.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

Joker in jail

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

Surgeon using hover mower

Precious comedy writers.

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Everytime he sticks his finger down his throat, he tells a joke."

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."