Laugh Surgeon Gifts

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Medical Cabinet

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

Pinocchio has a nose job.

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'It's a routine operation.'

Surgeon using hover mower

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

Joker in jail

Precious comedy writers.

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!