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Operating Room Table Scraps

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Improvised Dentistry.

Current location

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Medical Cabinet

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'Good help is hard to find, so I decided to clone myself.'

'I've a horrible feeling I've left one of the implements inside the patient, Chang.'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

Doctor: 'Mind if I cut in?'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'It's a routine operation.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

Surgeon using hover mower

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"Of course, with hindsight it was probably a mistake to perform my own facelift."

"People make a fuss about qualifications but with a bit of common sense anyone can do what these medical types do!"

'I'm past the liver, and there's the inflamed gallbladder. ... OK, switch us back to the game...'

'Okaaay... Now, the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone...'

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.