Quirky Medical Expert Gifts

"Okay, so I'm not REALLY a cardiologist, but I think I can spell it, K-A-R-D. . . I think there's an L in it too. Anyway, this thing really is the size of my fist. Cool."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

Quick! 5-second rule!

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

Positive Thinking

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Plastic Surgery

Preserved head and mobile phone.

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'You're not my usual doctor.'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

Sewing for Dummies.

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

Dr. Potato Head

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"So is it difficult having one leg shorter than the other?"

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."