Quirky Medicine Appreciators Gifts

'You may be feeling unwell because of the amount of medication you're taking...I'll just see if there's something I can give you for that.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"It's inoperable and perennial."

"When they develop their own gravitational field it's a clear warning sign of getting type 2 diabetes."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

'See - the problem is with the left side of the right brain and the right side of the left brain.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'Regular doctors aren't so bad, but never turn your back on a proctologist.'

"It's butterflies. In your stomach. I think you're in love."

Plastic Surgery

'Sometimes I get a little hypochondriacky.'

"I'm the hospital's cardiologists. The tests are conclusive. You do wear your heart on your sleeve."

'Good morning, and welcome to the National Symposium on Inner Ear Disorders.'

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'