Quirky Healthcare Aficionado Gifts

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"He's a whiz kid."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

Meds Toast

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A Mom and Pop Operation

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Have you got any hip-op?'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

Nurse about surgeon juggling organs: 'I think Dr. Haywood could really use a sabbatical.'

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

'Uh-oh. This doesn't bode well.'