Quirky Healthcare Aficionado Pillows

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"He's a whiz kid."

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Meds Toast

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

A Mom and Pop Operation

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

Good News, Bad News - Save the Leg.

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Have you got any hip-op?'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

Nurse about surgeon juggling organs: 'I think Dr. Haywood could really use a sabbatical.'

'Try not to think about your car-parking charges.'

Plastic Surgery

Lactose Intolerant Cow.