Quirky Healthcare Professional Pillows

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

Joint Ventures!

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Quick! 5-second rule!

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"No more Dr Nice guy"

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Plastic Surgery

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'I can't enjoy the stuff I steal because I set fire to it all.'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."