Quirky Healthcare Professional T-Shirts

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

Joint Ventures!

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"No more Dr Nice guy"

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Plastic Surgery

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

"I'm going to prescribe you four metres of bubble-wrap three times a day."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"