Quirky Medical Professional T-Shirts

Sewing for Dummies.

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

Joint Ventures!

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Quick! 5-second rule!

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"No more Dr Nice guy"

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

Preserved head and mobile phone.

Plastic Surgery

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'You're not my usual doctor.'

'I can't enjoy the stuff I steal because I set fire to it all.'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"