Quirky Medics T-Shirts

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"I'll swop you my liver for one of your kidneys."

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

A Mom and Pop Operation

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

Preserved head and mobile phone.

Plastic Surgery

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"He certainly brings a new dimension to keyhole surgery!"

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

"I'm just messing with you."

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

Sewing for Dummies.

'You have to chew your food: All this feeding-frenzy business is bad for your digestive system...'

'He's running a high fever.'

Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches

"We try to diversify."

'You may be feeling unwell because of the amount of medication you're taking...I'll just see if there's something I can give you for that.'

"His baldness was way out ofcontrol, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over."

"We got the results back from the post-mortem. It appears he was still alive before we started it."

Doctors playing a game while performing surgery