Quirky Healthcare Advocate T-Shirts

"Leeches are making a comeback"

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Man with money in hand reads instructions on 'Check prostate' vending machine

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

Plastic Surgery

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'With the added weight on their chests, donors can give a pint of blood at a time.'

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

St Berts - Britain's first open mouth surgery in progress.

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Sewing for Dummies.

Dr. Potato Head

Patient to pharmacist: 'So, is it contagious?'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

'Geeez! One day, we'll all get killed by that unhealthy stuff!'

'It's kidney stones.'

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'