Mental Health Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'And how often have you had the reversal symptoms?'

Psychiatrists Desk Trays - In Denial and Out of Touch.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

Psychobabble.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Fakir Shrink.

Shrink's Summer Job

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'