Humorist In Mental Health Pillows

"He's obviously depressed, let's see if leaving him to years of unemployment and broken relationships helps his condition."

"Well that seems to be your insomnia cured. Perhaps I should have tackled your schizophrenia first."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Self help acupuncture

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"You're completely screwed up."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Psychobabbling brook.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Computer help.

"How long have I had what problem?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'