Mental Health Humor Lover Pillows

"You not only have multiple personalities, but worse - They have a clashing sense of style."

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'I'm becoming predictable.'

Mathematician on the couch.

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

Fakir Shrink.

'I'll take #1.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Psychobabble.