Mental Health Humor Lover Pillows

"You not only have multiple personalities, but worse - They have a clashing sense of style."

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'I'll take #1.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

Mathematician on the couch.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Fakir Shrink.

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'I'm becoming predictable.'

Psychobabble.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'