Mental Health Humor Pillows

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'I hear voices doctor, and sometimes I smell their breath!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Psychobabbling brook.

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Psychobabble.

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Fakir Shrink.

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

Shrink's Summer Job

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'

'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''