Humor In Mental Health Pillows

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Psychobabbling brook.

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

Doctor's poker.

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

Psychobabble.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Fakir Shrink.

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

"Let the healing begin!"

Shrink's Summer Job

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

"There was nothing you could do. It's not your fault if the patient doesn't show for the operation!"

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'