Health Nerd Pillows

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"We saw a movie about mononucleosis in health class. It was called, 'Germs of Endearment.'"

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

Man at the hairdressers concerned about sanitation

'Folks, we'd now like to sing you a little song about the warning signs of hypoxia...'

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

"Stop complaining. If you hadn't spent all day in a donut shop you wouldn't have to lose 3.5 stones so we could lift off."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

All Natural Nothing

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Is this still America?'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Diet considerations.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Heart Disease Menu

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.