Health Nerd Gifts

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"We saw a movie about mononucleosis in health class. It was called, 'Germs of Endearment.'"

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

Man at the hairdressers concerned about sanitation

'Folks, we'd now like to sing you a little song about the warning signs of hypoxia...'

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

"Stop complaining. If you hadn't spent all day in a donut shop you wouldn't have to lose 3.5 stones so we could lift off."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Is this still America?'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Diet considerations.'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

Heart Disease Menu

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."