Healthcare Nerd Gifts

'Here he comes to save the day. . .'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Healthy Patients Only

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"I'm only flesh and blood. And, of course, collagen."

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'