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"So, do you think this Soprano guy will end up whacking his shrink or what?"

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"Grab a lollypop on your way out."

'…and so you see your unfulfilled hopes and ambitions in the form of the mailman.'

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

"We have to consider your 'new normal' considering the increase in mind numbing drugs."

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'