Surgery Show Fan Gifts

I thought watching major surgery on TV would make me wince, but they never showed the part about the patient dealing with their insurance company.

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Body Building

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

'I can't turn it off.'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

"Any chance that was you who just screamed in excruciating pain?"

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Mrs.Neal, we did everything we could: anglopasty, laser surgery, replaced a valve, put in a shunt. . . Your husband still snores like a musk ox.'

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

The Surgeon Finds the Source of the Problem

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

'I'll try to get sent off early luv, so I can take you to the hospital for your operation.'

'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'