Surgery Story Fan Gifts

'How did the operation go last night?'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

He really puts his heart into it!

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."