Surgical Satire Lovers Gifts

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

"Open mike night"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"It was a botched surgery."

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

Hospital Cleaning.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."