Surgical Satire Gifts

Cosmetic surgery bin: 'Bits & Boobs'

Cosmetic surgeon's in and out tray:'enlarge' and 'reduce'.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"It was a botched surgery."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

"Did you get some work done?"

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"