Surgery Satirists Gifts

'The anesthesiologist called sick. It is my duty to inform you that you will feel a little bit of pain during the appendectomy.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"It was a botched surgery."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

"Did you get some work done?"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

Hospital Cleaning.

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"Your husband's operation was successful and he can now freely move his arms and legs!...You might want to consider having this surgery yourself!"

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'