Surgery Satirists Gifts

'The anesthesiologist called sick. It is my duty to inform you that you will feel a little bit of pain during the appendectomy.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"It was a botched surgery."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

"Good?"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"Did you get some work done?"

Hospital Cleaning.

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'