Surgery Satire Appreciate Gifts

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"It was a botched surgery."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Whoops..."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

"Good?"

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"Did you get some work done?"

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'