Sporty Skeptic Gifts

"Mind if we play through?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

End of football season - UK

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'...You've got no game.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"So is this the fun part, or will there be even bigger bugs sticking to my face soon?"

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

'For the 100th time! I have never used steroids!'