Sports Skeptic Gifts

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'...You've got no game.'

"No child of mine will ever be allowed to play football and risk concussions and other life-threatening injuries...!"

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

"Master, what's the meaning of life?"

'Why are you watching politics?"

Four yards and a cloud of dust.

'I like learning physics. It helps me to understand why I'm so bad in sports.'

"There's no need to be alarmed, Mr McNulty. It's quite normal for some boys to show no interest in football."

Did you see the football last night? - 'No.' - 'Do you mean you recorded it?' - 'No.' - 'I get it. You're gay, right?' - '*sigh*' -

'Excuse me, M' Lord, but when did saying the Olympics was a waste of money become a treasonable offence?'

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

Olympics 2012 - Promised sporting legacy in doubt.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Science deniers Soc.

End of football season - UK

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s