Baseball Skeptic Gifts

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"I totally meant to do that."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

End of football season - UK

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Doing Something About the Weather

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Documentation Please

Science deniers Soc.

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"Delusional scientific elitist..."

'...and despite DNA predictions of incompatibility...'

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."