Baseball Theorist Gifts

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Davos.

"Uniformly accelerated motion"

Deregulated Baseball

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'The batter's crowding the plate. Try dusting him off at the knees. If that doesn't work, throw it high and inside. If he still won't back off, charge the plate and bite him.'

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

In baseball we can't practice social distancing when everybody is told to stay at home.

"Figured out who should bat cleanup yet, Skipper?"

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"'Ere -what's YOUR problem...?"

'My next batter says this team doesn't pay him enough to lay down a sacrifice bunt. ... Could you pass this hat around?'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

'Whoops, sorry, Steve. That wasn't a steal sign. I had an itch on my stomach.'

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

Babe Ruth

"They're pulling the good-hitter, bad-hitter routine."

"He's got great velocity, but he really needs to work on his trajectory."

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'

Just throw it over the plate, he won't swing. He's hoping for a walk.

'The pitcher calls a time out and walks toward the dugout. He's signaling the front office, and it looks like they're bringing out a new manager.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

World Series 2004 - Hall of Fame.

"No, it's not funny. But it's in the tradition of funny."

'Mogug is big and strong, and swings his club with power. I suggest we let him play rightfield and bat third.'

"I'm sorry, but that one was too close to call."

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'