Young Baseball Strategist Gifts

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

The MBA Draft

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

The Other Cooperstown

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Are you blind ref?'